Because it doesn’t make itself heard

Because it doesn’t make itself heard

Check your cellphone continuously and repeatedly. The minutes pass, the wait becomes overwhelming, but unfortunately, no messages and no calls.

At least once in their life, a situation like this has certainly happened to anyone. Very often the call he expects is about work, but even more frequently it has to do with “love affairs”.

The first periods of an acquaintance that hypothetically should turn into a relationship are, in some respects, the most emotionally pleasant ones, but also the most complicated ones to manage due to various factors.

The most important is surely, superficial knowledge. This could create misunderstandings and misconceptions. In fact, it is difficult to predict the behavior of the person you are dating, because you do not know what his habits are, his approach to the mobile phone (do you use it often? Do you forget you have it? Does he like to “text”? calls?) and above all his way of communicating within a relationship.

These are all elements that can only be understood with time, which is why the first periods of an acquaintance or a story are often studded with doubts and uncertainties . In particular, when we expect messages and phone calls that do not arrive, there are many questions and fears that crowd the mind: “Why don’t you call me?”, “If you don’t write to me, you don’t think about me”.

Sometimes we arrive at wrong conclusions, precisely because of the lack of knowledge of the other person, other times, however, falling in love leads to objectively absurd justifications for behavior of obvious disinterest. Clear to an external eye, but not to the person in love. Let us remember in fact that the phase of falling in love produces a series of emotional and biochemical alterations, which do not allow us to be completely “lucid”, so to speak.

Having said all this, let’s now come to the heart of the matter, when his or her own does not make itself heard, what to do? But above all, how to interpret such behavior?

We start from an assumption, that is, that the reasons for not being able to make a phone call or send some message can be the most disparate: commitments, unexpected events, work. But not only that, there are still (few) people, who do not have a good relationship with technology and with the mobile phone, in this case, it is not uncommon for them to use it the bare minimum during the day.

Another aspect needs to be evaluated: how long it does not make itself heard. One day? A week?. The “time factor” helps to provide a different value to the behavior.

It often happens then that within oneself the desire to feel the person burns, and perhaps also to understand the reason for his absence , but out of pride or discretion, one often ends up avoiding any contact.

However, all this does nothing but fuel fears, doubts, and even anger. A power game is then triggered, the problem is therefore no longer the phone call itself, but what it represents , that is , interest and feeling. Feeling so strong that it goes beyond pride.

A relationship cannot be founded on insecurity

Think about it, a relationship of this type certainly cannot be defined as healthy. A relationship cannot be founded on insecurity . The person with whom you decide to build a relationship as a couple, must instill serenity, joy, must be able to make you happier than you are alone. A relationship doesn’t necessarily have to be free of doubts, but surely there must be no more doubts than certainties. A relationship must have fewer question marks and more exclamation points.

The classic behavior of ” not being heard “, in his silence, actually communicates something very important, which could be summed up with the title of a Ken Kwapis film: the truth is that he doesn’t like you enough.

How long does it take to send a message? 8 seconds, maybe 10. In short, within 24 hours it shouldn’t be too difficult to find 10 seconds even just for a “hello, I was thinking of you”.

Basically, when you are attracted to someone, however rationality may hold back, emotion always pushes you to contact your loved one . It is something spontaneous, the fruit of emotions, and in this process, thought hardly intervenes.

If you are close, the contact is physical (a caress, a kiss, a hug), but if you are far away, the contact is a message or a phone call. If neither calls nor messages arrive, most of the time it is because the other person lacks the desire for contact.

It is not easy to accept such a truth, especially when falling in love is strong, and then you tend to find justifications, but if you don’t even deserve 10 seconds within a day, then that person doesn’t deserve to be considered important for you.