Couple relationship: tips for use
The couple relationship is characterized by a dynamic and persistent interaction between two distinct people who aim to communicate with each other in order to get to know each other in depth.
The three pillars of the couple relationship
The three pillars to establish a relationship as a couple are: passion, intimacy and commitment.
PASSION : by passion we mean wanting the other and feeling attracted to him on a physical, sexual and emotional level. Passion is a key element of the relationship on which relational stability depends. Never take anything for granted, never settle into the routine.
INTIMACY : intimacy represents an important glue and is stronger than passion; this is nourished by mutual trust, in intimacy we open ourselves to the other, we bring out our own frailties, insecurities and fears, without fear of being judged or hurt. It is not easy to create, it takes a lot of effort.
COMMITMENT : this is the hardest part to achieve in a relationship; commitment means taking responsibility towards one’s partner and includes several dimensions: relational, psychological, emotional and professional.
From the point of view of the relationship, there must be fidelity and respect for the other; from the psychological one, one must have confidence and help the other person to personal fulfillment and growth. In the emotional sphere there is a need for physical and emotional presence , while the professional one is expressed in helping one’s partner to find opportunities for his own work success.
But why is it so difficult to commit? There are several reasons why it is increasingly difficult to commit to a stable relationship; first of all one of these is linked to the sacrifice that underlies it, to the capacity to give oneself and to give oneself without expecting anything in return, the sacrifices that must be made. Dedication and love towards each other is a very great feeling and when it is present it manifests itself completely naturally, but at the beginning it is not always easy because we do not know each other enough.
How well do we know each other? Measurement of the torque ratio
The problem that is at the basis of a relationship is precisely in knowledge … you never know a person thoroughly or really, this is because you are not always sincere or in any case not completely, and defense mechanisms are put in place, for fear to suffer and trust someone again, for the umpteenth time; unfortunately this can lead to wearing down the relationship and therefore giving it a possible break.
To evaluate a correct trend of the couple, the most important indicator must be taken into consideration: the desire to be together.
The desire to spend time together to have fun, love, play, communicate, share, joke, but also grow together and face certain daily problems, is an indication of good complicity.
GROWING TOGETHER BY COMMUNICATING
The basis of a relationship is good basic communication that allows you to understand every change in order to face it together; experiences, in fact, continuously redefine us, and when there is no communication there is the risk of drifting away.
For this reason, never forget to:
COMMUNICATE WHAT YOU FEEL : you must communicate what you always feel, communicate your emotions, feelings through words or actions.
BEING THERE: always being there for the other, making one’s closeness felt in the life of the other.
EXPRESS WHAT IS WRONG: in the couple relationship there may be exchanges for which you do not agree on some things, and you have to tell yourself, because knowing what the other thinks allows us to know each other better.
TELLING YOUR DAY : keeping constantly updated on what you do during the day allows us to get in tune and in close connection with each other.
SHARING DOUBTS AND FEARS : communicating doubts and fears to the person you love avoids misunderstandings and the creation of distances.
7 tips for achieving couple balance
Unfortunately, there is no “user manual” for the couple, however, friction is often created due to poor communication and space management. To achieve a good balance in the couple it is necessary to resort to some interpersonal communication tools and to have a deep and mutual knowledge it is important to follow and take into account certain aspects of the relationship.
1. Give space to love : during the day find the time to show your love, with a gesture, a little attention, a word.
2. Consistency : demonstrate what you say with facts, have a behavior that is consistent with the words you say.
3. Open and sincere communication : during a conflict it is necessary to confront in a serene way, listening to the other with respect and empathy. Also understand that these contrasts are absolutely normal in pairs and can represent a moment of reflection, as well as of greater knowledge of the other for growth and evolution.
4. Recognize your mistakes : you have to recognize when you make a mistake with humility and courage. A functional behavior to adopt is certainly this and it consists of 3 phases: recognizing one’s mistakes, apologizing for what happened, committing not to repeat the mistake again.
5. Forgiveness : love is the ability to forgive and forgiveness is a very difficult act of courage to perform, it consists in letting go of resentment and freeing ourselves from a burden. It is a healing tool that frees us from the past.
6. Giving up on perfection : nobody is perfect, you have to accept your own limits and defects and those of your partner, because perfection in the relationship does not exist.
7. Make the sense of us prevail : the complicity of the couple is marked by sharing small things, such as taking a trip together, eating, having fun, making love, having an intimacy, but also sharing the least pleasant and most pleasant moments. difficult. All this creates the sense of “we”, which also includes making more or less important decisions together. It involves mutual trust, a union in spite of everything, and in which everyone feels safe and secure.
To grow together as a couple each must know the fears and concerns of the other without merging with them, each must maintain their own identity.
It is important to get in touch with the external aspects of the partner’s life, but also with his inner world, in fact, only this will allow you to have a healthy and balanced relationship. We need to keep the channels of communication and sharing open to grow… A very hard work of course, but which will help to bring added value to your life!
“To love is not to look at each other, but to look together in the same direction”
Antoine de Saint-Exupery