How to live with a perpetually angry person
Is anger a positive or negative emotion? Anger is an emotion . It is an emotion that helps us to manage dangers and that allows us to understand and make the external interlocutor understand what hurts us so that this may no longer happen or at least happen less frequently.
Anger serves us in life to defend ourselves from external attacks, to recognize them, to avoid them, it is therefore a fundamental emotion and a strong help in the situations we face day after day.
When does anger become deleterious? Anger becomes a “monster to fight” when it affects all areas of our life or at least the most important ones: emotional life, working life, family relationships, relationships with friends.
Anger becomes irrepressible when we do not have healthy spaces to channel it. It becomes irrepressible when we have not been able to overcome and process previous negative experiences, the effects of which resurface with every small event that reopens a wound that has never healed completely.
Living with an angry person
Being with an angry and aggressive person is a real challenge. Those who live next to an angry person, day after day, are catapulted into a war regime where anything can arouse discontent in the other, the perception is that of no longer being free to express themselves .
We live and live with the fear of being able to ruin positive moments for something wrongly said or for a said action without always considering all the consequences that it can cause to the detriment of the other and those around him.
Anyone who is angry takes anything as an attack on his person in an all-encompassing way , if he says for example: “Honey I don’t like this dish you cooked”, he will think that he is not a good cook and that everything he does is not of liking , for which a part of his personality is questioned; his self-esteem collapses and rises based on the feeling of not being appreciated and consequently of not being loved, when we simply… thought that dish was just too salty and stop!
Grumpy subjects, always with a state of anger in their body , are subjects who give importance to many things, too many! A trifle is enough to hurt them snap! In the long run, the people who work with them no longer see conflict (as Freud suggests) as a source of growth and enrichment . Conflict is then always considered as something to be avoided, because when there is a minimum friction, this is always a source of deeply lacerating feelings such as suffering, sadness, resentment … Nobody would like to arouse these feelings in loved ones.
In reality, it doesn’t work that way, conflicts could be a source of enrichment . When the conflict is well managed it creates awareness, one has the awareness that a conflict is taking place not for the sake of creating imbalances, but because the other one with whom one is confronted has a different set of experiences and faces life in a different way; different doesn’t always mean wrong, but in these circumstances it is undoubtedly limiting.
Perpetually angry people do not accept change kindly , they are schematic, conservationist, anchored to concrete values, they relate to the world with extreme “technique” and effectiveness, often in the workplace they are very efficient people. At worst , however, they are also very lonely people, since they do not tolerate error and make a clean sweep in relationships , creating a climate of fear and fear.
The furious subjects need to keep everything and always under control , they always consider the unexpected as something negative to be faced in the shortest possible time, so their work performance is often excellent.
But life is made up of mistakes, unforeseen events, conflicts, events that make us feel alive and that allow us to develop skills in dealing with situations that otherwise we would not have, give us the opportunity to face suffering without going to despair. , they allow us to understand the value of beautiful things, they teach us to live and always be better people.
Forgiving the mistakes of others makes us human and also makes the people with whom we interface human, we are not automatons or robots, we have weaknesses, style drops, we hurt the other at times without realizing it, thinking only of our well-being. It happens to everyone, but we must remain human, we are made of skin and bones and not tin, therefore angry people should learn to forgive and forgive each other above all, since anger not only destroys relationships, but above all ruins the emotional stability of those who lives .
Those who live with a perpetually angry subject can allow themselves the luxury of being able to get away from the haze of anger, while those who are angry can never get away from themselves.
Anger is an internal feeling, not external, it is not others who make us angry, but always remember it, it is we who allow others to make us angry, it is we who keep open a way to come and intercom to our emotions. No, it is not people who make us angry, especially if they are people we know love us, no, it is we who sometimes react with too much anger to an event that hurts us, but we certainly do not solve it by raising our voice or filling the other with insults. One thing is certain: the other will not change his attitude the more we get angry, this is a great certainty. Anger can be lived fully, but you have to learn to channel it and grasp the right ways to express it.
William Somerset Maugham says sacrosanct words: “For every minute we spend in anger, we lose sixty happy seconds.”