The 3 main causes of insecurity 15 methods to overcome it
You can be insecure always or only while facing certain tests. Maybe you’re sure of yourself at work, but when it comes to love you panic.
Whether it is trait (stable), state (transient) or circumstantial insecurity in certain areas of your life, there are always three causes.
Cause 1: Insecurity triggered by bankruptcy
Life events happen, then they stick to our soul like chewingum under the soles. Our happiness depends roughly on what has happened to us in the last month.
The worst enemies of happiness are the end of a relationship, the death of a loved one, the loss of a job and health problems. The loss of happiness affects our self-esteem. Failure and rejection not only corrode self-esteem make us insecure.
Self-esteem is our immune system against people’s idiocy. When it is debilitated we are more vulnerable to criticism, social failures and rejection.
There are 6 ways to deal with the feeling of insecurity that is generated in these cases.
# 1 Take enough time to metabolize bankruptcy or rejection. They are normal phases of life that hurt you today, but you can overcome if you accept that it will not be immediate.
# 2 Get distracted by doing something pleasant and inspiring. Positive energy covers negative energy and facilitates healing.
# 3 Take advantage of the positive social network. There are not only people who suck energy and make you feel bad, there are also those who treat you.
# 4 Share your situation with someone you trust.
# 5 Try again. Just as after an accident in the car it is recommended to immediately take the steering wheel in your hands again to avoid getting stuck in fear, so after a failure you have to try again.
# 6 Experience something new. The moments of crisis are the best to do it.
Cause 2: Insecurity due to social anxiety.
Parties, family lunches, public speeches, the judgment of others is one of the main causes of insecurity of mankind. In severe cases these fears crystallize until they develop into a social anxiety disorder.
Even without leading to the pathological, human performances often suffer negatively from the judgment of others. There is fear of taking a false step and therefore being excluded from the group to which you want to belong. Be it the small group of friends on the pitch, work colleagues or family.
You don’t need to have been bullied at school to experience the terrible feeling of exclusion and insecurity caused by hovering on the edge of a group. You don’t need to have hyper-critical parents to struggle to feel acceptable for what you are. You don’t need to lose your job to question your skills. It takes very little to suffer from social insecurity.
To face it, however, just keep these 5 things in mind:
# 1 Sit back, relax and think about what makes you a good friend, a good worker, a good son or husband.
# 2 There is no topic that cannot be addressed with the information in your head. Many people seem comfortable just because they parrot notions heard or read somewhere. You can contrast notionism with your opinion, because even the most mediocre man becomes brilliant if he looks at the world with his own eyes.
# 3 Don’t avoid social situations. If you want to run faster you have to train. This also applies if you want to defeat social insecurity.
# 4 Proceed step by step. If sociality is your limit, face it step by step until you overcome all your fears. You cannot leave by speaking in front of 300 people.
# 5 Observe others instead of observing yourself. Three advantages: distract yourself from your discomfort, discover that you are not the only one to struggle, learn to manage sociability.
Cause 3: Insecurity of those who want to be perfect
Anyone who wants to hyper perform is used to being insecure. The higher your standards, the greater the chance of making a mistake. So hard work, attention and fear of not having considered everything: this is what accompanies the life of the perfectionist.
Often even where others see a good job you think you haven’t done the best.
The life of the perfectionist is a hell of better possibilities than it is in. Not being able to control the output of his actions 100% makes the perfectionist very insecure.
Here are 4 mental antidotes to perfectionism.